Helping Kids with Autism Make Friends

Hopebridge BCBA Offers Skills and Steps Children Need for Peer Play

Having a buddy to share a laugh with, someone to turn to when they reach a new milestone, a shoulder to cry on when they’re sad, or even an Anna to their Elsa when they’re dreaming up snowmen in ice castles… Friendship is something all parents want for their children.

For parents of children on the autism spectrum, this desire can be even more intense, but also often feels distant. Socialization and communication can be difficult for individuals with autism and the preference of alone time is strong for many, especially at a young age. The good news is, even with some challenges, friendships in the autism community are not only possible, they can be as lovely and fulfilling as parents could hope for them, even if they appear differently than others would expect.

It is important for parents to keep in mind that children with communication barriers and behavioral challenges typically need help building certain skills before engaging in productive peer play. 

“Peer play seems simple on the surface, but it actually requires a lot of prerequisite skills,” Hopebridge Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) Kelsey Coffelt reminds us. 

If a child with autism seems disinterested in interacting with others or wants to do so, but has difficulties connecting, there are a few skills parents and therapy teams may first want to address:

• Accepting items from peers
• Offering items to peers
• Sharing for sustained periods of time
• Paying attention to a peer
• Imitating a peer
• Experiencing interest in something that which a peer also displays interest
• Tolerating someone else being in their physical space

Like other areas of communication and socialization, applied behavior analysis (ABA therapy) can support families who want to target these skills and more in order to give children the foundation they need to create relationships throughout a lifetime. Once children have learned the prerequisite skills – whether they acquired them on their own or have been taught them in ABA therapy – there are other areas therapists and parents can focus in order to encourage budding friendships.

Kelsey gave us a BCBA’s inside look at five steps we may take during Hopebridge’s autism therapy when setting out for goals around peer play:

1. Bring together two kiddos who have a shared interest.
   It may be puppies, Play-Doh, bubbles or dolls… whatever these children drift toward when they play by themselves, we build upon this interest when setting them up to play together. Remember that both of these children should already have the base skills we mentioned.
2. Have a preferred person present something related to that interest and also requires sharing.
   It is encouraged to have a therapist, parent or another person both kids are drawn to participate with this step. We introduce something that multiple people, including the preferred person, can interact with at the same time, which can help motivate them to come over and interact. Depending upon interests, this could be a new Play-Doh kit, Legos, blocks or a dollhouse. Kelsey personally enjoys using dress-up clothes the most because she can find an outfit for most any preferred character.
3. Model the behaviors you are seeking.
   Play of this type usually starts with one of the kiddos asking the therapist (or other preferred person) for one or more of the items, at which time he or she gives it to them. This establishes interaction with this therapist as reinforcing, but at the same time, it also models different ways to play with the items and interact with the peer.
4. Prompt one child to ask for something or give something to the other child.
   After a minute or two, the therapist can prompt one of the kids to ask for something from the other or to give something to the other. This establishes a similar interaction to that which the child had with the therapist already. The therapist will continue to do this until they begin asking and offering on their own, which reinforces each other’s behaviors. The therapist will then fade him- or herself out of play.
5. Jump back into play now and then.
   Every once in awhile, come back into the play scenario to model imaginative play for a few moments. Eventually, the kids will be conversing back and forth about how to play or what to act out and their imagination will take over. When playing with dress-up clothes, for instance, the kids often start acting out scenes from movies they watch without any additional prompting from the therapist!

Even with the right skills, the scenario may not always play out this smoothly, but working on these small goals over time can help children learn to interact with each other and enjoy it at the same time! One of the benefits of Hopebridge’s center-based therapy is we can easily bring children together to work on these skills in a shared space, once they are ready.

Early intervention is significant in building these foundational skills, so if you have a child on the spectrum who could benefit from ABA therapy, don’t wait. Contact us to learn more about how Hopebridge can help your kiddo make lasting friendships, while also increasing his or her overall independence.

*Informed consent was obtained from the participants in this article. This information should not be captured and reused without express permission from Hopebridge, LLC.